Before I picked up the phone I took a pause, a small pause, but a pause all the same that helped the outcome of what has become a frustrating conversation.
Let me back up here slightly. I am in the middle of dealing with an issue for my son. He has been awarded resources from the local council, however, he is not receiving them.
The problem is simple … why are you not giving him the resources he is entitled to?
The solution is also simple isn’t it? Give him what he is entitled to.
But this is now my fourth call and each time I am climbing further up the tree. The issue is I am only getting one answer; we can’t help as we don’t have the resources. It is a frustrating answer and it is not fair or correct, but then life often isn’t.
As I say, this is my fourth call with somebody fairly high up the rankings and I suspect it will go the same way as the previous calls; we can’t help, go away.
And that’s when it occurred to me. I needed a different approach.
CHANGE THE GAMEPLAN
It was time to take a few minutes out, step back, reassess the situation and how I wanted to proceed.
And that is when I took a pause.
I then complexly changed my attitude, instead of being combative and demanding they fulfil their obligations I stopped and listened. I said I understood their lack of resources and I wanted to work with them to find a solution. I actually really listened and it then hit me … I am shaking the wrong tree. The department I was talking to actually couldn’t help me, they didn’t have a legal responsibility. Yes I had been shaking the tree hard and using all the tools I had but it had been the wrong tree all along.
Collaboration Vs Combat
When the penny dropped I then asked … How would you deal with this challenge? And that’s when we both started putting a solution together. She came up with several ideas I hadn’t considered and she also offered to put me in touch with some of the key people that could help me. And that’s when I realised that the tools I use in business that often bring success I hadn’t applied to my personal life.
A PROBLEM IS A PROBLEM
In my business life I thrive when solving problems and I am much quicker at adapting my approach, however, in this issue I became one dimensional in my approach.
After the phone call I realised that the skills and beliefs I have in my business life are transferrable to personal situations. I love solving problems in my business life and can easily separate the person from the problem, that is something I can also do even if I am dealing with a personal matter that has personal impacts. In order to keep a clear head and get the result that I want I need to use the same tools. After all, people are people and if you don’t fully listen and ask the right questions you can’t actually get to the route of the issue and without doing that you can’t diagnose the best solution.
So if you are dealing with an issue I would urge you to step back, pause, and with a clear head look at the best approach to solve the problem before you.
Kelly Lemon
